I arrived early to class one day, so the teacher told me to open the blinds for her. When the blinds went up, a flood of bright, warm morning sunlight spilled all over me and into the classroom. This sunlight made visible all the small specks of dust flying around inside the badly ventilated classroom. To my teacher's amazement I stood where I was and stared at this sea of dust, completely mesmerized by its beauty. To me, dust particles colliding in air reminded me of people. We humans are like dust particles, drifting aimlessly through life, colliding with each other randomly.The summer holidays were boring. Dad decided to send the family over to the beach for a whole day. Since my dad worked a lot nowadays, I almost never spoke to him. As we sat as a family in the middle of a nature reserve, Dad tried to start a conversation with me, but I was too angry to talk. Sherwin read a school textbook during the whole trip. I'd rather be in any other family than the one I was assigned to. As. Shut down.They put me in the transitional building with the others who would becomedudes. Some were happy, already practicing being macho. Some were crying,and some were so angry that they had to be restrained.But some were like me, in a state of shock.Most recovered.I never really did.I stayed there for the nine months it took for my body to finish itstransition, hating every moment of it.The only way I could handle it was to basically shut down inside.It only got worse when they tried to set me up with a girl for matingpurposes.They tried dominant girls, they tried submissive girls. I found themattractive, but the thought of using the thing between my legs was a non-starter.A girl named Sara, who had been a close friend before my change, even hadthe bright idea of having some dresses made in my size, suggesting that ifI wanted to be girly, I could do that and no one would hate me for it evenif I was a guy.She just didnt understand that it wasnt the clothes I wanted.In fact as far.
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